So I bought a two-pack of Betsey Johnson tights. I wore the bright purple ones on my drive from the Cape to Portland last night, because I’m an idiot and I like to get all dressed up to sit on the Sagamore Bridge for over an hour. At least the car in front of me was filled with cute dogs.
I was moved to write a product review of these tights because they are super soft and stay up well without totally squishing me, but mostly because they dry very fast. I learned this on Route 1 in Saugus after I opened a bottle of water with one hand and managed to spill half of it between my legs. Shocked to be sitting in a bracingly cold puddle of Poland Spring, I nearly rear-ended a minivan.
So thank you, Betsey Johnson or whatever factory makes your tights, for making them so fast-drying. You made my four and a half hour drive slightly less awful.
I would also like to thank the two hilarious guys at the Hess gas station for getting me a bun for my hot dog.